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My ex-wife and I rarely spoke our minds, and when we did, things had already escalated to a point at which rational discourse was impossible.While I was far from used to speaking my mind when Nicky and I first got together, the ability to do so in a non-judgemental way that both parties would feel comfortable with was, and is, incredibly liberating.Today, I am much more comfortable in being open and honest with Nicky than I was when we first met, and I am proud of the progress I’ve made.Of course, we still indulge in the petty behavior that is common to most relationships.Of course, we shared war stories about our failed marriages, both of which were built on shaky foundations of lies, deception, and poor decisions. One day, purely by chance, Nicky overheard an interview with Dr. As he spoke, Nicky felt the notion of radical honesty was one that she wanted to apply to her own life, and was in fact largely doing so already.Although we were always quick to commiserate with one another about the events of the past, one thing we both agreed on right from the start was the need for complete honesty at all times. The primary motivation behind radical honesty is to eliminate the stress we experience when lying to others, regardless of our motivations.No matter whether we are tempted to hold our tongues when confronted with minor disappointments or serious infractions, radical honesty compels us to speak our minds and air our grievances.What many people do not realize is that being radically honest creates its own set of problems.

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I’ve come a long way, but my journey is far from over.When I first met my partner Nicky in May of 2011, I was finalizing my divorce.We met online, choosing to ignore the social stigma that pervades the world of Internet dating, even in the information age.In the face of such insurmountable expectations, how can radical honesty fit into these antiquated, yet well-defined, gender roles?In my experience, wrongdoing, failure, or even sadness have been tremendously difficult to admit, let alone verbalize.




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