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The value isn’t in the outcome; it’s in the experience, like anything in life. That’s always a gift, no matter how short-lived, as long as your intentions are good, and you are open to learning and growing. People get scared, and scared people always punch first. Yes, we have types and preferences, and we’re attracted to what we’re attracted to. That’s why dating has become scary and dreadful: People are horrible to each other if things don’t work out. If they don’t treat you well in the beginning, you shouldn’t even consider them. And maybe we needed that specific experience to shift our thinking or learn something about ourselves — what we want or don’t want, or we just needed it without any reason. We’ve all been hurt, rejected, ignored, and ghosted. It’s minimizing and strips away with someone when you choose to invest and build something, right? So rejection doesn’t have to be rejection: It just wasn’t a good fit. But really focus on and take in someone’s essence — the true core of who they are — because that doesn’t change. Two souls collide, orchestrated by the universe, every one with a story, and learning about oneself, others, and human connection. You don’t have to be in their daily lives, but there’s no need to treat people like they’re disposable. Dating is foreshadowing, because people don’t change until they have to, and you don’t want to wait until someone to change; at that point, it’s usually too late. But I’ve learned that sometimes I needed the experience I received from that person, and vice versa, at that point in my/our lives.

I put my trust in God and I know He won't let me down.

As long as your intentions are in the right place and you’re communicating, no one is getting used, or hurt. And trust that one of them will turn into something more. That’s not selfish; it’s the only way to look at it, so it’s an enjoyable, meaningful, life-changing experience. I just ended a relationship with my long term beau right before Thanksgiving and now I'm feeling like "is there anyone out there for me? I help people get through their challenges but struggle to get through some of my own.

And that’s what I think we should put the weight on — . If not, dating can harden you, and discourage you, because people . It is a choice to see dating as growth soil instead of a battlefield. Just because it wasn’t meant to be, doesn’t mean it wasn’t meaning. When you seek someone’s soul, you’re getting a more accurate picture of who they really are, and then it’s easier to be kind if things don’t work out. Remember, it’s the little things: Are they considerate? One can argue: I don’t see it that way, because if you feel used, there is pain there. Keep your heart open and continue to collide, knowing that there's learning and growth in each collision.

It’s like driving to a place you don’t have an address for, but you kind of know where it is. So because I’m a relationship coach, I’m in my head a lot. And that’s the number-one thing that will strip anyone of any experience. Because people are meant to collide, and through these collisions, there is tremendous learning.

Some are stealing them, taking them for joy rides, and leaving them on the side of the road. If you’re a nutritionist, you’re probably not going through drive-throughs at midnight. If we approach dating without these things — I’m not saying it’s easy — dating can actually be rewarding, and meaningful to your growth.

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